– Pay towards main dish, sister bringing.
1. Exotic plant arrangement~ Standing proud and upright reaching skyward and spreading it’s petals to consume the suns rays with misted moisture glistening on its stems the Bird of Paradise towers over a lipstick butterfly orchid nestled against it’s firm surface, stamen quivering, awaiting the soft breeze that brings pollen. Add note; “Thanks Mom, without you…there wouldn’t be me. Love Rhi Rhi. Happy Mothers Day”
2. Fresh fruit for appetizer salad
· Fuck me red tart apples
· crisp blushed Gala apples
· juicy, drip down your chin, make your fingers sticky oranges
· crunchy sweet pineapple
· dark red cherries waiting to be pitted
· Fragrant and tangy ripe strawberries
· Crumbled brandy seared and roasted pecans
· Home made whipped cream~ Heavy Whipped Cream (one container of Cool Whip for the ordinary heathens at the table)
3. Two loaves of warm crusty French bread from Panera’s
(Two orange scones for me!)
4. Soft strong white toilet paper. (Meh.) Gotta have it
5. Dark delicious semisweet chocolate over culvers rich and thick vanilla frozen custard
6. Fresh baked chocolate chip pecan cookies gooey and warm from the oven
7. Regular hummus and thin triangular triscuts
8. Baby fresh cut long and thin asparagus
9. Small red potatoes
10. 2% milk, jumbo eggs, banana cream pie yogurt
Bird of Paradise Orchid
Rhianna
Now it’s your turn. Add you erotic shopping list in the comments. Leah will also be reviewing the list. All lists must contain items that can be bought legally. I will accept comment lists until next Friday at midnight. Winner will be judged by our review critic Leah and the winner will recieve something from my list of items. (If you don’t like Asparagus, let me know) *snicker*
Have fun, keep in mind I might quote you in my next book.
Rhianna
Comment by Administrator — May 3, 2008 @ 6:47 pm
My mom lives far away from me so Mother’s Day shopping includes a card stuffed with money and a stamp. Not much of a list. So…
This Week’s Shopping List-
Some ripe, juicy voluptuous melons
1 large firm succulent cucumber… or two
A huge bed of lush crispy organic lettuce, spinach, cabbage, and arugula.
Plump round cherry tomatoes
Warm, soft and moist fresh baked bagels dripping with butter- from Panera
A large bottle of Extra Virgin olive oil
Firm and savory Ball Park plump when you cook’em Big and Tasty turkey dogs
1 large tub of Cool Whip, soft and fluffy whipped cream- cause Lazy Heathen is my middle name.
An equally large amount of firm jiggling peach Jello
Velvety smooth and rich dark chocolate pudding
Soft creamy gooey peanut butter
Luscious oozing Honey Moisturizing Shampoo by The Body Shop
Thick, luxurious Gold Bond Shea Butter skin softening moisturizer
Garlic- ack! How did that get in there?
Purell hand sanitizer- OMG- this is going downhill fast
Baby wipes- don’t ask— Whoa! I’ve hit bottom now.
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 4, 2008 @ 2:50 pm
Dearest Leah Lazy Heathen,
That was your middle name, right? I’m a cool whip girl usually, but on special occassions I like the real deal. I love summer seedless cukes. They taste fresh and almost lemony, I cheat of course and pour ranch dressing over them and sometimes just eat a whole bowl of that for a meal. Your shopping list was much like mine. sometimes you have to pick up the essentials. I like the soft creamy gooey peanut butter, I had it between bread just last night.
Rhianna
Comment by Administrator — May 4, 2008 @ 5:24 pm
Buwahaha… Ok, I was just going to ask you what heck a “summer seedless cuke” was. I was thinking some kind of spongy biscuity type of thingy. But then it dawned on me. A cucumber! I’m from NY originally and we spoke English there!
“Cuke” must be a Texan or Indian(ian)(onian) thing. LOL
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 4, 2008 @ 11:39 pm
Cukes is an Indiana Ebonics thingy. If your cuke is a spongy biscuity type texture, don’t eat it, don’t even touch it. My Sams has english seedless cucumbers. I like them…a lot. and there is absolutley no double entendre in that statement. Get your head out …where ever it happens to be.
New York? The city? English? So many things to riff on and so little time.
I liked your mothers day gift idea. I suspect many, many mothers out there considered it the perfect gift.
Just a little aside on Mothers day. Last year I bought my mom one of those Tree of Life Necklaces. It was 14K white gold and the design was exquisite. She initially didn’t seem impressed by it and even briefly talked about giving it back to me. (She’s so used to returning things and getting what she wants. Usually I applaud this, unless it is one of my gifts.) In thise case the necklace had cost a couple of hundred bucks, so I am sure my eyes turned to cold stone at this suggestion and she quickly announced that she loved it and added it to a necklace that held a couple of other gold items, like a gaurdian angel. I, like the near saint that I am, considered it a victory and life moved on.
Last week Mom decided that a tree of life necklace would be perfect for my niece, who is graduating college this week. She goes out to Sam’s to buy her the same necklace and is staggered by the cost. She’s asking me if I know how much it cost. Duh,yes I do. Now I am favorite child for a day or two. The Tree Of Life necklace is one I recommend to any who can afford it for thier mother. And if it helps, you can leave the price tag on it and surprise her with what an exceptional child you are, even at our age.
As for Indiana ebonics. They say around here. I don’t care to do that. Which usually means…yes, I’d love to do that. As a born Texan, I never did understand if they were committing to something or not.
Rhianna
Comment by Administrator — May 5, 2008 @ 12:09 am
There are quite a few blog topics in your last comment. A Tree of Life Necklace sounds like a really nice gift for a mother. My mom loves cash. The more the better. LOL
Colloquial language can be really interesting. My Dad lives in SC and sometimes he says stuff and I’m like, “what?”
The favorite child thing is very interesting and whole other topic. I guess when you are in the middle of 6 it becomes an issue. I remember my younger sister, the one in between, always whining that nobody loved her. LOL I don’t think we ever really do get over all of our parent/child issues. But that’s what living across the country is good for.
Um… about where my head is? Sometimes a cucumber is just a cucumber.
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 5, 2008 @ 10:24 am
As for being the favortie child it was merely a decription of her enthusiasm and not so much a statement of her preferences. She is a woman with an anxiety disorder, so it doesn’t matter at any given time who she is stressing over, it’s one or all of us. She’s a multi-anxiety prone woman, who refuses to take medications for it. I’ve explained to her doctor that either she gets anxiety meds or I do, but someone needs to stay calm.
I love colloquial statements. Ebonics is just another set of colloquialisms. I’m fond of using them when I can.
Rhianna
Comment by Administrator — May 5, 2008 @ 10:24 pm
Jeepers you two… how the dickens am I supposed to compete with your lists?
I mean really, I’m lucky if I even USE a shopping list… but I’ll see what I can come up with. *sigh*….
*grumble, grumble ~ darned hard acts to follow*
Comment by KathyK — May 5, 2008 @ 11:57 pm
REVIEW- “The Mother’s Day Shopping List” by Rhianna Samuels
Wow, what can I say? “The Shopping List” by Rhianna Samuels is a riveting example of how one can take an everyday concept and create a whole new exciting sub-genre out of it. How creative is that? The Shopping list was so entertaining and engrossing that I literally read it in minutes. And I must say, for me to read anything in a matter of minutes is something very special.
Ms. Samuel’s masterful world building and poetic use of language takes you into a world of sensual delights, the likes of which will have you taking a cold shower or pulling out all that fans, warm weather aside. It’s that steamy hot!
“The Shopping List” starts out by taking us on a journey into the rich exotic world of flora and fauna. Like a lotus flower, Ms Samuels opens us up with colorful descriptions of Birds of Paradise standing tall, firm and proud, while Orchids spread their dew moistened pedals. Is it hot in here or what? I must say, Ms Samuels doesn’t skimp on the erotic language in her descriptions either. I mean Stamen and pedals? OMG, that’s such a turn on. And I’m sure you will all agree with what kind of images that kind of language can evoke. I don’t even know how she got this published, “The Shopping List” is beyond being hot, it’s a raging inferno of eroticism.
Then, continuing on in this unique seductive world she has painted, she takes us into the world of exotic epicurean delights. Ms Samuel’s creates a sumptuous world that makes the mouth water and desire swell at every turn. Slowly we are presented with a sensual earthy landscape of sun ripened lusty and juicy produce and then on to a rich and decadent world of sweet desserts. Ms Samuel’s use of language here is so rich and vivid that I felt as if I actually was actually experiencing it all. Whew! Off to another cold shower.
One thing I do have to interject here is that Ms Samuels did give a brief intermission in all of this hot steaminess. There is a bathroom break. Thank goodness or you could pass out from all the intense internal pleasure her writing elicits.
What is most interesting is that she brings the reader gently down from their frenzied heated state towards the end by using every day common language. Meat and potatoes type of language if you will, allowing the reader to slowly savor and integrate their experience in a more relaxed state. Wow! What a mastery of language and psychology.
All in all, Ms Samuels has written something so unique, so erotically provocative and out of the ordinary in “The Shopping List” that I can’t imagine anyone being able to tear themselves away from this list, except for the provided intermission, until the very last word.
I give it 5 STARS with a bullet.
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 6, 2008 @ 12:12 am
* Ooey gooey chocolate fudge topping that pours deliciously slowly
* Luscious, soft and delightfully whipped… cream
* Mouthwatering, tempting, ripe red strawberries
* Soft, creamy brie
* Warm, crisp french bread
* Large ripe bananas (hey if you two can talk cukes and
plump ball parks, I can have ‘nanners *grin*)
* Mellow, golden Sauvingnon Blanc
* Sweet crunchy peppers ~ red, orange & yellow
* Large, crisp dills (no garlic!)
* Yeah, then my daughters are likely to ask for various feminine products,
shampoo and deodorant… what a mood killer, eh?
…. Okay, I’m hopeless ~ your lists were much more evocative than mine… I have a brain that turns off when asked to write something using my imagination. *sigh*
But still, it’s fun!
Comment by KathyK — May 6, 2008 @ 12:15 am
Oh Leah… hooo, hot in here or what!
Your review of Rhianna’s “Shopping List” nearly blew off the top of my head there was so much steam!
*fans self… * Time for a cold shower?
Comment by KathyK — May 6, 2008 @ 12:18 am
Rhianna, you could have had my mom. A non existent entity. Which is better? I guess it’s what we get used to, but I love that I don’t have to deal with mama drama. My poor youngest sister got the brunt of the disappearing mom, which she’s been in a lot a therapy for. Maybe a neurotic mom who is there is better? Who knows?
Have you ever heard the term “might do” instead of saying maybe? I say it all the time instead of maybe and the DH laughs hysterically every time I say it. He thinks it very odd, but I have no clue where I picked it up from. Maybe someone out there has heard it used like that.
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 6, 2008 @ 12:19 am
Thanks Kathy. Yeah, I think I had a hot flash or two when writing it. *snort*
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 6, 2008 @ 12:22 am
Large crisp dills, yeah I could get with those. LOL
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 6, 2008 @ 12:23 am
Kathy, your list was as good as mine. Though the flower arrangement was particularly pretty decent. I’ve always wanted to discuss quivering stamen, but never had the opportunity to just throw it into a conversation.
I totally admire Leah’s review.
Oh Yeah, I’m a banana fan. You found my fruit weakness.
Rhianna
Comment by Rhianna — May 6, 2008 @ 12:54 am
Rhianna your flower arrangement was fabulous… you definitely left me behind in the grocery aisle… quivering stamens indeed! LOL
Man, if you were able to use *that* phrase in a conversation, that’d be some conversation… and X-rated I’m sure.
Fruit weakness… mine would have to be watermelon, but it’s pretty hard to create something erotic from a watermelon, ne?
Comment by KathyK — May 6, 2008 @ 8:21 pm
Kathy,
You can see how shopping is often a social time for me. No, I don’t get out much. LOL
I bet you could liquor up a watermelon and blame it later for causing something naughty to happen.
Rhianna
Comment by Administrator — May 6, 2008 @ 10:48 pm
Rhianna, now you’re talking. A liquored up watermelon. Hmmm…yum. However, I think it might be hard to eat a drunk watermelon. It might stagger all over the table.
Kathy, did you say ne? As in the Japanese ne? or did you just misspell something. If so, how cute!
If not, oh well, my bad. 
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 7, 2008 @ 2:52 am
No I did use ne… I’m a big fan of a lot of Japanese anime and english-translated manga… and I prefer watching the sub-titled versions because the Japanese seiyu are much better than the English voice actors… IMHO. And sometimes “ne” just pops out… still.
What’s really neat is that because of my interest in anime, etc. my son taught himself, after one course of Japanese, to speak and read the language. Now he’s working on Cantonese and Mandarin and anything else that catches his attention.
So, yeah, that’s the long-short explanation… more than you wanted to know, eh?
Comment by KathyK — May 7, 2008 @ 4:10 am
And Leah… oh my ~ the visuals of a drunken watermelon ~ indeed, Rhianna, causing many, many naughty things to happen ~ staggering around… too funny!
Comment by KathyK — May 7, 2008 @ 4:12 am
I’m off for an appointment, but I did want to comment that a drunk watermelon is fine as long as he’s seedless. there are just to many melons running loose in the world and it is my way of making us all congnizant of the gigantic melons, which inevitably are seldom tasted and only googled.
Rhianna
Comment by Administrator — May 7, 2008 @ 5:25 pm
LOL… *seedless* watermelons are definitely preferable.
Comment by KathyK — May 7, 2008 @ 5:30 pm
So Rhianna, what you are saying is that people are mostly only googling giant melons? I can’t remember the last time that I googled a giant melon. And I google tons of stuff. I’m googling all day.
Hmm… seedless watermelons. I’ll go with that. I don’t like watermelon so much so taking out the seeds would definitely help, as well as the liquor. Better yet, leave out the watermelon and just pass the liquor.
It’s all good after that.
Comment by MB (Leah) — May 7, 2008 @ 9:02 pm
Yep, it’s all good after that. I am a online slut, but Goggled, or googled, it all about the melons. *snort*
Rhianna
Comment by Administrator — May 7, 2008 @ 9:55 pm